THE FINAL CHAPTER

It has been almost 2 weeks since the triathlon and I still kinda can't believe I did it. And to my absolute wonder, despite my doubts when told I would, I had a FUN!

I was asked to tell about the race so here goes:

If you read my last blog, you read that I was slightly...ok...SUPREMELY panicked throughout the day on Saturday.

I ended up only sleeping for about 3 hours because I was just too amped. I woke up at 3am and ate right away. I had found throughout my training that I could not eat at least 2 hours before I swam because I got really queasy and nauseous.

I ended up getting down to Long Beach at about 4:30am. A little later than I wanted but I needn't have worried. I was the 3rd person there. The transition area opened at 5:30 and I got to pick my spot.

As others started filing in, I started talking with my rack mates. They knew I was nervous and tried to ease my fears. They were all very nice.

Time seemed to go very slow. On one hand that was good. But on the other, more dominant hand, I wanted to get the show on the road...or in the water as it were. I wanted to get this thing over with!

As time drew near, they told us to start moving. We had to walk almost a half mile down the beach. As I'm walking, I'm getting more nervous and excited.

I look to the water and terror surges through me.

Now, on the website it said that the swim would be behind the breakwater. It would be "calm". If you have ever been to Marina del Rey, that was what I was thinking it would be like. Very calm. Like glass. At the seminar thing I went to on that Saturday, they reiterated that by saying it would be like swimming in a lake. That was one of the reasons why I chose this triathlon. Calm waters. I can swim in a lake!

I look to the water and there are not just waves. There is, like...SURF. Big honkin', body surfing type waves. This is not what I planned for! I wanted to know what "Lake" they were talking about! Lake Michigan?! Lake Superior?! JEEZ! Holy Crap. Holy Crap. HOLY CRAAAAP!

So I get in the water to acclimate myself, as directed by the guys giving the seminar. And I have to tell you...I fell in love with my wetsuit. People kept telling me that they were buoyant...but I did not think it would be THAT buoyant! Yes, this was the first time I had ever actually worn a wetsuit.

For safety reasons, they had Coast Guard boats, wave runners and guys on surfboards watching the action to make sure no one drowned. The wave runners were towing inflatable rafts to be able to quickly get swimmers to the beach, and to emergency care, if necessary.

We get to the starting area and I am really nervous. They sent us off in waves and the elite swimmers went first. You had to swim out about 50 meters or so, then turn right after a huge red buoy.

I'm watching that first elite wave go and not 10 meters past the first buoy and they are pulling someone out of the water. This is an ELITE triathlete! And they are pulling him out 60 meters in? I start to panic all over again. If this guy, who has done these before cant finish, how can I?

I was in the 7th wave. So I got to see 6 waves go off before me. And there was at least one person from each wave taken out very early in the swim. One of the women I was talking to in the transition area was next to me and was telling me not to worry. So easy for her to say...this was her 7th tri!

The horn goes off and we are OFF! We had to dive into the waves to get past them. I was thinking of Tom Hanks in Cast Away. You know, when he had to get his raft past that huge wave or die?

Well, I made it. And I swam. I don't know if you guys know this, but that was the FIRST time I had swam in the ocean! And did I mention that I loved my wetsuit? I loved the wetsuit. The only thing was that it was really tight. Or at least felt really tight. I had to stop and float and just do a relaxed breast stroke type of movement to calm myself down. I almost started to hyperventilate a couple times. Calm down, Bethany. Calm down.

I am past the second buoy and I look up from the water and I see a surf board. You know, one of the safety measures? But there was no dude on it! All I could think of was "I hope he's saving someone because if HE is drowning, we're all in trouble!"

I continue to swim and for the most part I do ok. I do take in a lot of water and of course its very salty. I ended up feeding the fish some cookies I ate exactly 2 hours before the start.

But I finished.

After getting out of the water, we all had to run, or walk about a hundred yards to the transition area. It sucked. But I was still just pumped that the swim was over! I DID IT! YAYAYAY!

I get to the transition area and get ready for the bike. This is by far my best event. I notice that my stuff is all wet. I was thinking that someone must have been really rude to just dump water all over my things! I get my stuff on and go. I'm hauling. I am flying past people and I feel really good. I start feeling things pelt against my skin and it takes me a moment to realize that its water. The marine layer is so thick that it feels like its raining. I am trying to wipe the water off my sunglasses and finally just take them off. There is water DRIPPING off my helmet. Its then I realize that that is why my stuff was all wet. (Yes...I am QUICK!)

This made it a little more exciting. It was like biking in the rain, something else I have never done. The lane lines get really slippery and the metal teeth things that are in the middle of bridges that have to open and close for boats were like slip-n-slides.

I was finishing up my first loop when I saw....GOLDENS! I was going so fast :) that all I got out was "DOGGIES". I realized it was Julie and Ewan and their 2 wonderful doggies Gemma and Ruby. I had to loop around and scream JULIE! And wave! I knew I would see them in another 5.5 miles! DOGGIES!

I finish the bike without mishap and see that the Marathon Guru has joined Julie, Ewan and the pups. It was nice to see them.

I get off the bike and change shoes, grab my hat and start to run.

They call going from the bike to the run a "brick". Have any idea why? I will tell you. They call it a brick because your legs feel like bricks trying to run after being on the bike for 11 miles.

So I run, more like jog.  Three miles is not far but it is when you are tired and slow anyway. I make the loop and see the doggies and the Guru tells me I can start sprinting now. I was literally about 50 yards from the end. I sprinted like the WIND! (There was no wind).

WOOO HOOOO! I'm done! I"M DONE!!!!!

And it was... FUN.

Elaine, Eva, Joanne and Paul were at the finish line waiting for me. Elaine gives me a hug and tells me I am beautiful. I am soaked to the bone, from the sweat and the soup. I say "Really?" and she says yes. I look at her and take off my hat. Remember, my hair has been shoved into a swim cap, been soaked under a bike helmet and stuck under a very fashionable Rescue baseball cap and say "How bout now?"

Bless her heart, she tells me "Ok...maybe not now."

Love someone who tells it like it is!

I would like to thank some people.

Thanks to Julie, Ewan, Gemma and Ruby for giving me my golden fix when I needed it...half way through the bike and definitely before the run! DOGGIES! And I got my golden kisses for finishing.
Thanks to Marty Friedman (the Marathon Guru), Elaine, Eva, Joanne and Paul for being there to see me finish.
Thanks to Mother Nature for making the weather almost perfect. Although soupy, I would much rather it have been as it was...about 72 degrees, than 95.
Thanks to all of you who took my advice and stayed home.

Thanks to Sanya, web goddess for posting my blahg entries.

Thank you to all who sent me well wishes before and congrats after. It meant a lot to know you were thinking of me.

And finally, thank you to all who donated. The beautiful golden babies thank you. VERY MUCH.

For one last time...be well everyone.

PEACE OUT!

Congratulations Bethany...you did it!

Photos by Julie!

Panic. Learning. Panic. Learning. Flying. More Panic.

So to pick up where I left off with the last blog, I was not feeling the love from Mike and foot lady made me want to gag. When my swim pass was used up, I decided to just go to the community pool, which is conveniently located 3 blocks from my house. I figured doing laps from that point on (about 4 weeks ago) was my best plan to get endurance up.

When I started timing myself, I was doing a half mile in 27 minutes. That of course was having to stop, if only for a second, to turn around at the wall.

I got down to 25 minutes before I left for Michigan.

When I went to visit the Fam, I swam in the channel where my brother has a house. Since I wasn't sure what the distance was, I just swam for about a half hour. Definitely tiring.

But, it was good because I got the chance to experience the not being able to see the bottom thing. And the no lane line thing. I do backstroke a lot so I miss the lane lines. (I ran into boats twice. Thank goodness, they were parked!). I swim like a drunk. Lots of wasted energy. BAD!

This past Tuesday, while swimming, I pulled a muscle in my upper arm. It hurt. Panic.

I still swam on Thursday. My shoulder still hurt, but I took 2 minutes off my time. Learning.

I am admittedly scared sh**less about this swim. It is the thing that is the wildcard in this for me. I can bike 11 miles pretty easily. Running 3 miles is a small distance compared to the 26.2 I've done in the last 3 marathons. If I get out of the water in 30 minutes, I will consider that a win.

Especially since I got a cold in Michigan and despite all the witches brews and magic potions, I am still stuffy. I am also hockin' up loogies. Yum, huh?

So today I went to pick up my packet for the race. They had a very helpful seminar to go over the course and some seriously informative tips.

I learned a lot in those 40 minutes.

I learned that there is the cool stuff that is supposed to help you get out of the wetsuit. Its literally stuff you spray on and its supposed to be slippery. Body lube. I have visions of a being squirted out of the wetsuit like a banana squirting out of it's skin.

I learned that they suggest NOT doing the backstroke. The backstroke is what I have been using when I get tired, and it is by far my better stroke. Serious, SERIOUS PANIC!!!

I learned that there is something called the flying dismount off the bike.

I can guarantee I wont be doing that.

So my race number is 575.

My wave start is at 7:15am.

It is supposed to be really hot again tomorrow. If you are coming to see me finish, make sure you bring water, especially if you are bringing dogs.

Which brings me to this:

I know that some of you plan on coming to see me finish. As much as I appreciate you being there, I feel that traveling a great distance, to pay $10 to park, to bring the dogs in this heat, to only be there for 20 minutes is a bit crazy. If you plan on coming, I appreciate it. But I would like you to think if that is really the best use of your time.

This isn't coming out right. But I just want you all to know that I will not be upset if there is no one there to see me finish. It just seems like a lot of time and effort and money on gas and parking to spend to only be there for 20 minutes.

However if you do come, park at the Convention Center, which like I said is $10.

Sanya always asks me for pictures. Here is one of all the stuff I have to bring tomorrow.

Did I mention that I am panicking?

Be well everyone.

Peace out!

Channeling my inner Missy (And Will Farrell from Night at the Roxbury)

**Note, as you will read, this was started 3 weeks ago. I am a little behind! But instead of starting over, I will continue this one and will send the most recent one in a day or two. Just pretend it is still 3 weeks ago!

Good lord where does the time go? I apologize to my loyal fans (I think my followers have gone up to 8...not bad, my readerdom has grown exponentially. Even my Mom admitted to reading it! YAY ME.) for the time in between posts but I didn't want to interrupt the Olympics! (Who besides me thought the closing ceremony people were drinking some seriously jacked up kool-aid?)

Oh! So braided hairy guy actually came back. And he must have heard or felt the heave of the group gag as he entered the pool because he WAXED! He still has the ridiculous thing hanging off of his chin but he is no longer the braided hairy back guy!

Unfortunately, though, for us women, the scrape-the-dead-skin-off-my-gross-feet-with-a-file-thing-and-pumice-stone-lady has decided that THE PUBLIC SHOWER is the perfect place to do that. It's just disgusting.

So I only have 4 weeks to go and the swimming is going fine. I have left the beginner class and graduated to the advanced class. I got so ninja in the beginners group that Misael would actually ask me to show people what to do. I got so turbotious that the swimmers in the next lane would stop swimming, look around, startled by the wake and wonder how a speedboat got into the pool. Good thing Im so full of myself huh? My big head helps me float!

Seriously, I was so much more advanced in the beginner group that I moved to Mike's group. I don't like Mike nearly as much as Misael. Well..I don't like Mike at all. I truly was the worst of the advanced when I started and although my technique was good, I was still slow. Mike doesn't like slow...even if it says in the brochure that its for ANY swim level.

Plus, yucky foot lady is in Mike's class. She is not a bad swimmer but she lets everyone know that SHE thinks she is a great swimmer. The first advanced class I took I heard her tell another girl, who also was taking her first class, that at least she was better than...she saw me and didn't finish. I knew what she was gonna say but I play it cool and I just let it roll off my back...like the water I swim through.

She obviously has serious confidence issues if she has to cut other people down. (Yes I AM an armchair psychologist!)

But get this...the next class, foot lady is there and we are swimming and I am improving. And I see WHY she is a better swimmer! The cheater uses swim fins! I would be fast too, beeha if I cheated and used fins!

I will admit that I am not cool enough not to make just slightly snide comment to her about how ANYONE would be faster using fins. That holier-than-thou smile drained off her face.

Sorry, I couldn't help myself.

So I swim. And I get better every swim. And I think about Missy Franklin. And I think that if I could channel just an OUNCE of her speed, I would be good.

And each night as I leave the pool, my inner Will Farrell shakes my head in a sideways, headbangers ball kinda way to get all the water out of my ears.

"What is love? Baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me, no more"

Be well everyone.

Peace out

Riddle Me This

I hate goggles. They are going to be the death of me. Ok. That might be overstating a tad but they do bother the living bejeezus out of me. Even my super supposedly anti fog goggles have to be pulled really tight to keep the air and water out, and well, they squeeze my brain.

You know what else I hate? Smelling like chlorine. My super expensive soap is not noxious enough to zap it so I'm walking around smelling like Au de Pool. Yes, that's better than Au de Poo, which is what one smells like if they don't watch where they're walking. So really, I must be super careful, cuz if I happen into a pile, I will smell like Au de Poopool, which is a very distant, black sheep cousin of Mott the Hoople, who were a one hit wonder with All the Young Dudes.

Anywho...speaking of gross things, last time there was this guy who was so hairy...

HOW HAIRY WAS HE?

He was so hairy that he had his BACK HAIR BRAIDED to match his beard. NO, I am not joking. I tried not thinking about His Hairiness...swimming....not only in the same pool but in the same lane as me. I tried not thinking about HOW someone could actually BRAID hair that short. And I mean short by braiding standards. It was lllloooonnnggg in back hairinessness!

I'm still grossed out thinking about it. I know one can't help these things but man...it was icky. Yo!!! Hairy Man! Think Miyagi...Daniel San...Wax On Wax off. Wax On Wax off.

So the swimming is going well. I have pancaked. One of the things I really like about the way Misael teaches is that he breaks everything down so that each part of the kick, stroke, breath is done right. Bad thing is that it is a whole lot to remember. And he talks to us like we're kids but not in a bad way. Moving our hips is "sway sway sway". Our heads are coconuts. If you don't extend your arms far enough on the stroke we are t-rex's. Anything out of our personal range of motion is the "no no zone". All said in sing song voices that are hilarious and more to the point, memorable.

We learned backstroke first because backstroke has the same movements, for the most part, as freestyle. So now that I have pancaked, I have a lot to think about because not only do I have to worry about sway, sway, swaying and no no's and t-rex's, I have to think about BREATHING! Yeah. Breathing is good!

Sometimes I think it might be too much for me. You know, The Marathon Guru always warned me about running and chewing gum. Throw a nose blow in the mix and there was a strong chance of chaos. Now I have to think about all this stuff AND breathe AND not sink. Phhheww.

So what's the riddle?

What runs faster than I do, even in water?

Be well everyone!

Peace out.

Goldilocks and the 4 goggles goggling, 3 suits a swimming, 2 caps a capping and a surging pancake in a pear tree

So I haven't drowned or sunk...Woot.

I have, however, spent way too much moolah on swim crap. Next year I am going to find a sport to do that doesn't cost me anything...a barefoot, naked, dog carrying contest maybe. Yeah. Yeah. The dog will cover the front and I will have a strategically placed race number covering my butt. Whaddya think?

Anywho...I had bought a pair of goggles when I was going to my neighborhood Y thinking I would swim ...about 4 years ago, (as you might guess, I never even opened them until 3 weeks ago.)

When I swam that first day, they kept getting foggy and I couldn't see. Not gonna work. So I went out and got another pair. These pair are AWESOME. They fit great. They look cool (not cool at all, really). And they are anti fog. The problem? They're dark. Think Corey Hart, sunglasses at night dark. Great in the day, but since I swim at night...not so good.

Sooo...I went and bought another pair. Same Speedo brand, what I thought were the same goggles, only clear. I jump in the pool on Thursday, thinking, FINALLY and...nope. They are not the same pair only clear. These do not have a flexible bridge of the nose thing that extends out. Its flat. And it squishes my nose. And it hurts.

So bring on goggle pair number four. FOUR!

So since I had to get another pair of goggles, I looked at the swim suits while I was at the sporting goods store. I have been wearing a nice suit, one that would be more for lounging by the pool instead of swimming in it. I took 4 into the dressing room. I really liked 2 of them and couldn't decide. So I got them both. The one makes me look thin AND was the cheapest of the 4 so I patted myself on the back for that one. Since I picked the cheap one, I could reward myself with the other one, right?! And the other makes me look fast. No really. It has like pink, white and purple sorta lightning bolt thingys on it. Lightning is fast, right? So my lightning suit is gonna surge me through the water. SURGE ME I say. (That's what I am telling myself anyway. To justify buying both. SURGE!)

Well, my swim cap is BLUE. My fast suit is Black and PINK. I couldn't wear a BLUE cap with my lightning pink super fast suit, could I? The clashing of colors might slow me down. We wouldn't want that, right? Defeat the whole SURGE theory. So enter cap number 2.

And to top it all off, I had to buy special get rid of the chlorine smell soap and not-turn-your-hair-green shampoo and conditioner. More expensive then soap should be.

BUT...my hair isn't green yet, so there's that. (And we don't even want to discuss how green hair would factor into the SURGE theory. I shudder thinking about it.)

You want to hear how the swimming's going?

I have been working on kicking, breathing and backstroke. Misael says that next time, if I backstroke with grace, I can pancake (his way of saying flip over) and start working on freestyle.

Ahhh...what?!

Flipping over depends on grace?... And me having it?...Wellllhellll. I might pancake all right. I will just be that first one that you always mess up then give to the dog.

Grace? Crud.

And dang it. Now I want pancakes.

Be well everyone.

Peace out!

SWIMMING 101

So to begin my swim training, I thought I would just start going to the pool and start swimming. My wonderfully smart boyfriend however, told me that I should get a coach right away so that I don't spend any time swimming with a funky stroke.

I took his advice and looked for a coach.

There are some seriously expensive coaches out there. And they don't take Reese's as payment. So I was really excited when I found that the pool at the local community college has instructors there every week. And they don't charge an arm and a leg (They're smart see? Charge an arm and a leg and it makes it harder to swim.)

So I went for the first time last week.

I know how to swim.

I have spent almost my entire life around water. I was lucky enough as a kid to have a family vacation home on a lake. We would spend almost every hour of every summer day in the water. We would swim up and down the channel, messing around, having fun.

I know how to swim.

I haven't, as far as I can remember, though, worn a swim cap. Or goggles. I don't think that was too obvious though. I only had the goggles boing off my head and hang from my ear once...ok twice but no one saw the first one!

I know how to swim.

So I strut out of the locker rooms, thinking that this was going to be easy. Swim off the cobwebs, have the coach tweak my stroke a bit and I'd be off to the races.

You know, because I know how to swim.

The coach, Misael, tells us to warm up with 200. For those of you who don't know, that's 8 laps. Awesome! I jump in and 2 things happen. (NO...I did not sink!)

1. Shock, by how MUCH colder the water was than expected, and
2. Pain, because my toe starts to sting and throb.

You see, the toe nail that turned black and yucky while I was training for the marathons is THIS close to coming off. It was hanging on by just a big enough thread that it hurt every time something rubbed my toe the wrong way. I was afraid to just rip it off because, well, it hurt! It has been hanging around now for about 2 months. When I jumped in the pool, the chlorine oozed under the nail and hurt like a you know what.

So visibly cold and silently in pain, I pull my goggles over my eyes and start swimming. And I swim...and I swim. And I am winded half way through. Of course, you say. Swimming 4 laps would make most people tired. No. I'M TALKIN' THE FIRST LAP! You want me to do HOW MANY? For a warm up?

Crud. This is gonna be harder than I thought.

But I am going to learn from the beginning and get it right.

They broke us into 2 groups. So that they could work with us beginners away from the people who knew what they were doing.

For almost the entire class, Misael had us do kicking drills. Nice. Slow. Fast. Big leg. From the knee. It was very helpful. I was the fastest.

I was the best of the worst! YEEE HAAAWWWW!

And my toe really stung.

When the class was over I got out of the pool, freezing, and ran for my towel. My toe was really stinging!! I looked down at my toe nail and realized that my superior kicking skills ripped that bad boy right off! No wonder it was hurting so bad. It was now somewhere...in the pool.

EEEWWWWWWWWWWW!

Be well everyone!

Peace out